Heart's Filthy Lesson
by howsoonisnever
Summary: Rin finds a badly beaten woman in a river. The woman remembers little of her past, but it soon becomes clear she may just be the reason Sesshomaru hates humans so much.
1. Chapter 1

**Heart's Filthy Lesson**

Chapter One

**Suffer Well**

_Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha...have mercy!_

_a/n aaaaaaaa's indicate a line break. Sorry for the aaaa's...no one is screaming I promise...well not yet anyway._

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She had never run before. It had never occurred to her that escape was even possible, but in that little, cold cell she had been forgotten. Forgotten and left to die.

She peeled herself off of the stone floor that had been slicked with her blood and stumbled to the door. With shaking fingers, she gave it a push. It swung open on rusty hinges, whining in protest. Had it ever been locked?

It was night when she entered the garden. The heady scent of jasmine and wet earth was a slap to her deadened senses. Panic, like ice water, ran in rivulets down her back raising the tiny hairs on her neck. She would be caught...but did that matter? How long had she wished for death?

She shook her head, her filthy hair a curtain over her face, hiding her ugliness from the beautiful world. No...she wouldn't die at his hand. If she was to die this night, it would be her own doing.

She began to run, a limping faltering gate at first, but then fear and adrenaline gave her speed. Her bare feet flew over the earth.

The cool spring air was damp against her ravaged skin and she inhaled deeply. She smelled water. Breaking through the trees, she nearly fell over the ledge that gave way to the roiling river below. The churning waters looked so cold.

A small half smile played on her chapped lips. She took in another deep breath and looked up at the stars. The sight of them brought memories that were best forgotten. She jumped.

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Rin thought the sunlight on the water looked pretty. It shimmered and was gold like his eyes. Her cheerful expression darkened. Sesshomaru-sama had been gone for a long time now. Her little face screwed up into an intractable pout. She wished he'd come back...what if he didn't this time? What if Jaken was right...that she was a burden...a weakness? What if he had just decided that he would leave her there...alone.

Rin shook her head, banishing her black thoughts. He would never do that! She told herself. She wiggled her toes in the river, giggling. It was so cold. She wished summer would hurry along and then that water would feel so nice.

She stood up, dusting off her backside and peered around her. Where had that toad demon gotten off to anyway? Sesshomaru-sama didn't like it when Jaken left her alone. She took in a deep breath and prepared to holler out his name.

But Rin stopped. She heard something. Something moving in the water.

Rin scanned the shore which was dense with grass and weeds. Something pale and wet flashed in the sunlight. She pulled the weeds away, her little hands making short work of the tangle of foliage. Rin gasped and then bit back a scream. There was a person in the water. With a pudgy finger, she reached out tentatively and gave the pale shoulder of the person a nudge. Nothing. Her heart sank all the way down to her toes. They were probably dead.

"Can't leave them in the water..." Rin said to herself.

She pushed up her sleeves and fished around in the weeds and the muck until she found an arm. Grabbing it with both hands, Rin pulled and pulled. The body didn't budge. Rin pulled again, but her hands were slippery from the water and she lost her grip, stumbling back and landing on her bottom with a "plop".

She hated giving up and knew that Jaken wouldn't be bothered so she went back to the body. A mass of tangled hair, dirty with sticks and leaves and mud, hung over the person's face. Gingerly, Rin reached down to brush it away. She let out a little sigh.

"A lady..." She breathed.

Rin stared at her very hard. She looked bad. Dark circles marred the delicate skin under her eyes. Livid splotches of purple marred her cheek, and other bruises were all over her face but had faded to sickly greens and yellow browns. Her lips were cracked and caked with dried blood. Rin winced when she looked at the woman's neck. It was covered in scratches and bites, dark crimson crescents, punctured with teeth marks all over the pale flesh.

Pity tugged at the little girl's heart and she mopped at her eyes with the back of her sleeve. She kept staring, hoping that the woman would move or make a noise, but she didn't. Rin reached down and felt for a pulse at the woman's throat, careful not to touch the ugly bite marks. At first, she felt nothing, but then, life twitched under her fingertips.

Rin beamed with joy. If she was alive, she could make her well. She had helped Sesshomaru-sama, so she could help this lady too. She gave the woman's shoulder a gentle shake. Rin was pleased when the woman's lashes fluttered on her cheeks. She shook her again. This time, the woman moaned. It was an awful sound, wet and raspy.

Suddenly, the woman's eyes flew open. They were wide and the gaze was unfocused. It startled Rin and she backed away with a panicked "eep!" The woman moaned again, face twisting in obvious pain. Pity and worry banished Rin's fear and she once again leaned over the woman.

Her eyes wobbled and it was clear she was fighting to stay awake. Her gaze finally settled on Rin and she flinched, her arms pulling up to her chest.

"I won't hurt you." Rin said.

The woman narrowed her eyes. Her eyes are pretty, Rin thought with a bright smile. They were very blue, blue like the sky was in summer time, but unlike a summer sky, they were cold. Rin rubbed her arms, the sun would be setting soon.

The woman's gaze softened a bit and her cracked lips twitched in a small smile.

"I'm Rin." She said cheerfully.

The woman opened her mouth to speak, but then coughed violently, her whole body shuddering. She threw her head back and gasped for air. Blood tinged her lips.

"That water is cold. Can you get out of it? You are too heavy for Rin."

With a pained expression, the woman rolled onto her stomach and then pulled herself half out of the water by her forearms. She had to stop several times, face nearly in the mud, to pant, but finally she flopped down onto the bank and rolled onto her back. She closed her eyes and her lashes fluttered against her cheeks. Rin saw the whites of her eyes as they rolled back into her head.

Rin felt a little disappointed. She had wanted to talk to the lady, but she guessed that the woman was too sick to talk. Sick people need sleep, she chided herself. Turning to look behind her, she saw smoke from a campfire. Jaken must be waiting for me, she thought with a heavy sigh. She would go and get a blanket for the lady. The ground was cold and wet and it wouldn't do for her not to have a soft blanket.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

"You pesky brat!" Jaken shrieked, pumping his tiny fist in the air. "Where have you been all day?"

She smiled. "Rin was playing by the river."

"Stupid child! The river is cold and swift. You should not play by the river. Sesshomaru-sama must truly hate poor Jaken to have stuck me with such a stupid, ugly child."

She had stopped listening a long time ago. Jaken was being mean, but she knew he had just been worried about her. So, she ignored his harsh words and gathered her blanket and prepared to trudge back to the river.

"And now where are you going now, you half wit?" He shook his two headed cane at her.

Rin just shrugged in response and headed back to the woman. She knew Jaken didn't care enough to follow her, at least she hoped not.

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Rin held the blanket in numb fingers. The woman was shaking, convulsing. Blood trickled out from the corners of her mouth and her skin was as pale as the moon under all the filth. She is going to die, she thought her little hands beginning to tremble.

Quickly, she covered the woman with the blanket, trying her best to very gentle. A ragged moan bubbled out of the woman's mouth and her eyes opened again. She looked up at Rin and tried to smile a little, but her face twisted in agony instead.

The woman whispered something, but Rin couldn't hear so she knelt and put her ear to the woman's mouth.

"Please..." There was a long pause. "Let me die."

Rin rose hastily. She didn't know what to do. Suddenly, she heard a rustling in the tall grass behind her. She whirled around and saw Jaken.

"What are you up to?" He narrowed his yellow, lamp like eyes.

"Oh, Jaken! You have to help Rin!" She cried, tears brimming in her brown eyes.

He sighed and shook his head. "What sort of trouble have you gotten yourself into this time?"

She pulled on his sleeve and pointed at the woman who had fallen eerily silent.

He peered and then gasped. "Where did you get _that_?"

"I found her in the river. The lady is sick."

He puffed out his little chest. "Right. Best to just put her back in the river then."

Rin's jaw went slack with shock for a moment. "No, Jaken! You have to help me make her better! If we put her in the river, she'll die!"

He held up a clawed finger. "Of course! We don't want her here when Sesshomaru-sama returns." He shivered when he said the youkai lord's name. "He would be very cross."

Rin balled her hands and put them on her hips. "Then we will make her well before he gets back."

Jaken shook his head. "I will do no such thing! Of all the disgraces you heap upon This Jaken's person, this is the worst! You assume I would help some disgusting, dirty human?"

Rin's bottom lip jutted out and began to quiver.

"Don't start that." He begged.

She snuffled and the tears threatened to spill.

Jaken threw up his hands, his ugly face twisted in disgust. "Fine! But do stop that blubbering."

Rin knelt and threw her arms around the little toad demon and planted a kiss on his bald head. "Oh, thank you, Jaken!" Rin was pleased to note that he didn't struggle all that much.

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So much pain. Her body wasn't healing like it had always done before. She wasn't certain if it was the poison, the fluid in her lungs that choked her every breath, or the wound on her leg that was going rancid.

But in that pain came realization and in that realization came peace. At last, she would die. No one could torment her ever again. She would no longer be a slave, a toy, a thing to abuse...she would be free.

Or so she had thought.

The river had been swift and had dragged her body under. Water had filled her lungs with searing agony and then darkness...

When she woke, the setting sun had been in her eyes and then the face of a child. At first she had thought it an angel come to lead her to her rest, but then the pain returned.

Now the child tended her with gentle, trembling hands. She begged the child to let her go, let her die, but her voice was so weak...perhaps the little girl had not heard her.

It was a balmy night touched with the promise of summer when she woke, really woke. Something green stared down at her with two yellow lamps for eyes. She was not surprised to see the toad demon. She was never surprised to see any sort of youkai at all.

The woman regarded him with a cold, level gaze. "Are you my master, then?" She rasped, voice rusty with disuse.

The youkai balked. "Of course not! What would I want with a stupid, sick human?"

Then she saw the child. "Rin thinks you are feeling better! You can talk!"

The woman gave her a brief smile. "Yes. Thank you."

The girl, Rin, kneeled over her and put a tiny hand on her forehead. "You are still too hot." Worry creased the child's delicate brow.

The woman knew that fever ravaged her. Her skin felt as though it were being pricked by a thousand tiny needles and she shivered as her skin burned. The thick blanket felt coarse on her hot, dry skin, but she hadn't the strength to push it off.

"I am in need of water..." She croaked, feeling awful for asking. She didn't really want assistance, she wanted to be left to die in peace, but her throat ached and she could no longer stand the thirst that itched her dry mouth.

The toad demon thrust a cup into the child's hands. Ah, the woman thought, the demon already has a slave.

"Here." the child held the cup to her lips and she drank. No sooner than she swallowed the water, darkness swallowed her and she was sent to a blissful, dreamless sleep.

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Desperate days turned into weeks and the woman was better. The wound on her leg still wasn't healing right and the fluid still rattled in her lungs, but she was awake most of the time and that made Rin happy. At last, she had someone besides Jaken to talk to when Sesshomaru-sama was away.

Rin dangled her feet in the sun warmed waters of the river. "Rin wants to know your name. You've never said."

The woman frowned and wiggled her toes in the water. "I haven't been asked that in ages." She said softly.

"You mean you don't know?" Rin thought it sad that the woman didn't know her own name.

"I seem to have forgotten." The woman's frown disappeared, replaced by her normal expressionless mask. Just like Sesshomaru-sama, Rin thought with a sad sigh.

"Hmm," Rin put her finger to her chin. Then she brightened. "Rin knows! I will give you a name!"

Rin looked at the woman. She was smiling softly.

"Rin thinks you should have her mother's name. I will call you Tori."

"Thank you. That is a lovely name, far too lovely for one such as me. It is an honor."

Rin made a face. She wasn't sure if that was a compliment or not. She peered at the woman's face. It was rather hard to tell what she looked like caked with all that mud and a curtain of ratty hair. Her eyes were so beautiful that Rin just assumed the rest of her was as well. Then Rin noticed something in the tangled mass of unkept tresses. It was a bit of faded blue ribbon.

"What is that?" She asked, pointing at it.

Tori's hand went to the ribbon and she covered it in a tightly clenched fist. "It is nothing."

Rin laughed. "It is a piece of ribbon!"

Tori's eyes found something interesting at her feet and she sighed loudly. "Yes. It is a piece of ribbon. But it is old and faded. I should throw it away." But her hand never strayed from it and she made no move to do so.

Rin touched her arm lightly with just the tips of her fingers. The flesh under her touch danced and Tori recoiled. "If Rin had a ribbon, Rin wouldn't throw it away either."

Tori gave her a small, rueful smile. It touched her lips for only a moment and then was gone so fast, Rin wasn't sure it had been there at all.

"You are right, little one. I should keep it. It was a gift..." her voice trailed off.

Just then, Jaken trudged up to Rin, his eyes bulging, a vein pulsing on his forehead. Rin groaned.

"Impudent wench! What are you still doing here? This Jaken told you to leave when you were well." He shook his staff at Tori who regarded him with icy detachment.

Tori gave him a slight nod and tried to stand, but Rin grabbed her hand.

"No! She's not well enough yet, Jaken!"

He dropped his staff and wrung his hands. "He will kill me."

Rin licked her lips nervously. She was sure Jaken was right. Sesshomaru-sama would probably be angry. Her heart gave a painful thump. "We could keep it a secret." Her voice was weak, barely audible.

Jaken laughed, but it was bitter and lacked mirth. "Hide her? Sesshomaru-sama will smell her a mile away!"

Tori leaned toward Jaken and her voice was low when she spoke. "Tell me, Lord...can you smell me?"

Jaken made a face and gave her a quick sniff. "Curious. I do not. Explain, wench."

Tori shrugged. "I have no answers for you, Lord. It has always been this way."

He put a clawed hand to his chin. "But you are human?"

Her lips twisted into a bitter sneer. "I am, but I am...different."

"Different how?" Jaken's eyes were narrowed and he stooped to pick up his two headed staff.

"It is of no consequence, my Lord. Nothing you should trouble yourself with. I will go. I do not wish to cause you and your slave child any trouble."

Rin laughed and clutched at her sides. When she regained the ability to breathe she said, "I am not Jaken's slave!"

Tori arched an eyebrow at her. "Forgive my assumption. Worry not about me, child. I will be fine." She said this as she stood, but as soon as she put weight on her injured leg, it buckled and she fell to her knees and coughed. Blood flecked her lips once again and her cheeks felt hot. The fever was returning.

"Hmph." Jaken thumped his staff. "You were right, Rin. She is not well enough. Perhaps Sesshomaru-sama will not return for another week. But that is all! Just one more week."

Rin jumped up and hugged him tightly. Jaken tried (not very hard) to pry her little arms from around his neck. "Get off of me you filthy little beast!"

Rin complied and he shuffled off. Tori was giving her a queer look.

"You and the demon are friends?"

Rin shrugged. "I guess. Jaken watches after Rin while Sesshomaru-sama is away."

"I see. So this Sesshomaru is your master then?"

She didn't know what Tori meant by master. "Sesshomaru-sama keeps Rin safe."

Tori just gave her a nod and then eased herself back down onto her blanket. Rin frowned. Her face was flushed again and she couldn't help but notice how thin Tori was. She wore only rags that barely covered her lanky frame and it was torn in places. Rin could see her ribs.

Rin sighed, feeling a little sad...she wasn't sure why.

She scooted closer to Tori and put her head on her knees. "Do you know any songs?"

"Songs?"

"Can you sing? Rin would like to hear a song. Rin only knows songs she makes up herself."

Tori flashed her a genuine smile. "Those are the best songs, Rin."

"Really?"

"Of course. I used to make up songs to amuse myself."

Rin jumped up and clapped her hands. "Oh! Sing a song for Rin!"

Tori's smile faded and a dark look shrouded her bright eyes. "I have not...I do not sing anymore. It didn't please my last...I just don't."

Rin frowned. "Please, Tori-chan. Please."

Tori didn't speak and her face remained blank. After several minutes she gave a long sigh. "All right, little one. But then you will have to let me rest. I am tired."

Rin clapped her hands again. "I will, Rin promises!"

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Sesshomaru wasn't far from the river where he'd left Rin and Jaken when he heard it. Singing. At first, he thought it was Rin. The child was always humming and singing to herself, to him, to Jaken...but no. The voice was too perfect. It didn't have the childlike cadence, it had resonance. For a moment he stood stock still in the field, the spring wind caressing his face as the song caressed his mind. The voice was so sweet.

Then his pulse quickened. He inhaled deeply, searching the air for a scent. He smelled Rin, Jaken, Ah and Un...nothing else...wait...

Sesshomaru narrowed his amber eyes. He smelled sickness. Blood. Human blood? He couldn't be sure, it was old...just a faint hint of copper on the sweet air.

His approach to the rive bank was silent and he stood in the long evening shadows watching his ward. She was staring up at a filthy human dressed in rags, her expression rapt. Rin had her little hands clasped to her chest. The human, a woman he guessed by the voice and the litheness of her body, had her eyes closed, her face void of expression. He had smelled the sickness from her. Her right thigh had a deep gash that had gone green and her rags were stained with ominous splotches of rust too numerous to bother counting. But she had no smell...

The human's voice bothered him. He wanted to sink his claws into her throat and rip it out. It was a beautiful voice, clear and strong, but soft and feminine. Sesshomaru stood there longer than he intended, listening to the song.

"Who can tell me if we've found heaven?

Who dares say the way it should be?

Moonlight, shadows

All these precious things

That is what you give to me

You talk of romantic things

The break of morning

The smell of jasmine

Clad in crimson

King of my heaven

Such things you give to me

I am a spirit in your house

an unworthy spirit

To witness the end of evening

in hues of emerald and blue

I know that you will abandon me

I am not worthy of love

I knew that we were fleeting

This dream of you

I know not if I had heaven

My heart holds no desire

No rain...no river

Can take your memory from me"

The woman stood still when she had finished her song. She didn't open her eyes. And then, she swayed on her feet and fainted. Rin rushed to her side, big eyes brimming with tears. Sesshomaru could smell them, salty and bitter.

Sesshomaru stepped out of the shadows, his anger a dull buzzing in his ears. Rin looked up at him.

His voice didn't betray his rage when he spoke softly to her. "Explain yourself, Rin."

A/N: Wheee! My first fan fic that I found fit for human consumption. Take it easy on me...heh. Oh! Twenty points if you can guess the song that inspired Tori's song. points not redeemable for cash...or anything really. I do sincerely apologize for the aaaaaaaa's. I have computer retarded...and this dog doesn't wish to learn new tricks. So...that's how I do a break...I usually use a but this site kindly deletes those (sigh). Oh well. Enjoy...


	2. Chapter 2Stockhom Syndrome

**Heart's Filthy Lesson**

Chapter Two

**Stockholm Syndrome**

"_Pain doesn't hurt...when it's all you've ever felt." anonymous_

_a/n: again with the aaaaaa's line break...not screaming._

_Disclaimer: Nope...Inuyasha doesn't belong to me_

_This chapter is rated M for violence and rape_

Although his face and voice gave away nothing, Rin knew Sesshomaru was angry. She tried a gap toothed smile, tried to look cheerful. But her smile quickly faded.

"Explain yourself. I will not ask again." His voice was barely above a whisper, but she flinched as though he'd yelled at her.

Rin lowered her head and stared at her dirty toes. "Rin found Tori in the river." She stammered. "She is sick. Rin thought she could make Tori better before Sesshomaru-sama got back..."

He stood there a moment more as still as stone. Were it not for the breeze that stirred his long, silver-white hair, Rin would have thought him a statue. Sesshomaru cocked his head to one side and looked down at the woman who's breath came in ragged, liquid stops and starts.

"See?" She began in a quavering voice. "Tori is very sick."

Sesshomaru turned to walk away. "Get rid of it." He said and then was gone.

Rin stared after him long after he was gone, tears filling her eyes, grief aching in her chest. She drew in a shuddering breath and knelt beside Tori who was still unconscious. Rin smoothed the tangled hair away from the woman's dirty face, her eyes going to the faded bruises on her throat.

Someone had been very cruel to Tori. Rin understood cruelty and she placed her small hand on the bruises, felt Tori's pulse flutter, so weak against her palm.

There was a rustling in the tall grass behind her, but Rin didn't turn to see who it was. She knew it was Jaken. Sesshomaru wouldn't be so noisy.

"Rin..."

"I know." She replied brokenly. "But it isn't fair!"

She waited for Jaken to say something mean, but he didn't. "No, perhaps not." His tone was pensive.

She turned to look at him. She knew what she wanted to say...what she wanted to do, but it was hard and it hurt so very much. "Jaken...Rin will stay here." She managed finally.

He didn't seemed surprised. "That would be most foolish, child. That woman is going to die. You don't have the skill to heal her."

"It is Rin's fault." She said, squeezing her eyes shut against a torrent of hot tears.

Jaken shook his head. "No. It isn't Rin's fault."

"It is. Rin made her sing when she was tired. Rin is selfish."

She stood and wiped her eyes with her sleeve and set her jaw. "Rin will make Tori better."

"Child...you cannot."

She stamped her foot. "I can too! And I will!"

Jaken sighed. "As you wish." Then he shuffled off.

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Rin woke at dawn, back stiff from sleeping on the ground. Even before she went to the campsite, she knew they were gone. Gone. Sesshomaru had tired of her, just as Jaken had always said he would. She bit down hard on her lip and fought the grief. No, she wouldn't cry. She had to be strong.

Through bleary eyes, Rin poked at the fire with a long stick, trying to coax the glowing embers back to life. If Tori was to get well, she would have to eat and regain her strength. Somewhere, though she was too stubborn to admit, Rin knew that she couldn't heal the woman.

She wished that Sesshomaru-sama hadn't left her and she began to doubt her decision. What would happen if Tori died? Then you'll be all alone, Rin told herself. All alone.

She remembered the feeling of being alone. The desperate feeling that drove her to try to help an injured youkai in the woods. It had been the same desperation that had compelled her to save the woman in the river. Loneliness.

Tears slid down her cheeks. She couldn't stop them and was tired of trying. She bit down on her lip again and continued to coax the fire, prodding it a bit harder than she needed to.

As the fire began to dance once again, Rin's face lit up in a bright smile. She couldn't heal Tori...but a miko could.

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Tori tested her weight on the cane Rin had made for her out of a long stick. It was hard at first and the sharp end bit into the tender skin of her underarm. Rin wound a bit of cloth and that made it easier. She didn't have the heart to tell the child that she didn't think she would make it to the village...that she would most likely be dead within a day or two.

Tori gave it her best effort and despite feeling as if she would topple at any moment, she began to limp along.

Rin clapped her hands together in glee. "It works! Now we can go to the miko."

Tori frowned at the child. "I still say that a miko would not wish to help one such as me."

"This miko will. Rin promises."

"Is it far?"

Rin shook her head. "No, the village is close, but..." She sighed. "Rin thinks it will still take a long time. You can't walk very fast."

"Why are you helping me, child?" Tori asked her suddenly. Her hair hid her face, as it usually did and it was a comfort.

She watched the child through her veil of tangled locks. Suddenly feeling very bad about being suspicious of the little girl who obviously meant her no harm...and who had lost so much because of her.

"Rin helps you because you need help." Came the sweet reply.

"You should not have done this. You angered the youkai and he left...I am not capable of protecting you, little one."

Tori realized that had been a cruel thing to say to the girl. She watched as the child's face crumpled and her large brown eyes filled with tears.

"Forgive me...and do not cry. I am in your debt."

Rin wiped her eyes and nose on her sleeve. "Rin thinks we should go now." The child sidled up next to her and slipped her warm, little hand into her free one.

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It had been slow going and when they stopped to make camp for the night, Tori was exhausted. Her breath wheezed and no matter how she gasped, she couldn't seem to get enough air. She doubted she would make it to the village.

I must try, she told herself. I must try for this little child. She watched the girl skip through the tall grass, grubby hands swatting at the fireflies. Tori's heart gave a painful lurch. It had been a long time since someone had been kind to her. So long that it hurt too much. Pain was better, she decided. Pain was easier and pain was what she deserved.

The spring breeze was soft and warm, but it chilled her fevered skin and she shivered, her arms covered in gooseflesh. Suddenly her mouth went dry as she heard a rustle coming from the stand of trees behind them. It wasn't just the fever that made her shiver. Something was there, watching them.

She swiveled her head to look, but she couldn't see anything. A noise in the field startled her, distracting her. It was Rin. The child was running to her, eyes wide with terror.

"Tori!" She said in a hushed, frantic whisper. "Put out the fire!"

Tori grabbed a pot of water and doused the flames. Damn, she thought, the fire is making too much smoke. She took her blanket and covered the mess of wet wood and smoldering embers. She hoped that whatever Rin was afraid of hadn't noticed.

But they had.

A group of men, Tori counted four, came over the hill. Bandits. Tori thought with despair. The child was terrified and hid behind her as Tori rose on shaking legs. She leaned on the cane and hoped the bandits would leave them be. Surely a sick woman and a child didn't possess anything they wanted.

The leader stepped forward, dagger in hand. Tori could smell the stink of liquor on him. She gave Rin's hand a squeeze. The child should run.

"Look fellas!" The bandit snickered. "I found a wild woman!"

The others had joined the leader now and were snickering.

"Run child." Tori whispered. "Run and don't look back."

The girl didn't move and Tori could feel her little body trembling behind her. Tori took in a shuddering breath and suppressed a fit of coughing. With all her might, she shoved Rin away from her.

"I said run! Now go!" She shouted, her voice harsh.

She heard the child loose a strangled sob and then, much to her relief, she heard her soft footsteps retreat into the woods.

"Go after that kid, Fujita." The bandit leader snarled to a lanky man with greasy hair.

"Wait!" Tori said. She pushed back the mat of tangled hair and licked her lips. "I sent the child away...so that we could have a little fun." She smiled demurely as her body went cold in rebellion.

Her hand went to her rags and she pulled them down and stood naked before them. They laughed at her.

The bandit leader spat on her. "That ain't the kind of fun I had in mind." He neared her, the dagger's edge winking in the moonlight.

Tori steadied her nerves and forced her body to stop trembling. She gave him a vicious smile. "Fine. Do as you wish. I won't fight you, but leave the child alone." There was nothing this brigand could do that had not been done to her before. She was not afraid.

"Fujita! I told you to go after that kid!" the leader snarled.

The one called Fujita shrugged and began to trudge past her. She leaped on him, knocking them both to the ground. Rough hands had her by the shoulders and she was thrown off of the bandit. Hands tangled in her filthy hair and pain spiked in her scalp as the leader pulled her through the grass by her tresses. She gritted her teeth against the pain, but refused to cry out. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction.

She twisted her body, the pain driving her on, and she bit down hard on the leader's hand. She felt a crunch under the weight of her jaws and then the satisfying rush of blood into her mouth.

The bandit howled in rage and much to Tori's delight, Rin was forgotten. Fists pummeled her, rough hands were at her throat. A knife was pressed against her hip and she felt the edge just barely part the skin. Tori closed her eyes. This was familiar and she retreated until she was far, far away.

Every blow sent her farther into her created illusion. The more pain that was inflicted upon her, the more real her illusion became. She could almost feel the damp earth under her feet, almost smell the jasmine that hung heavy in the air. She smiled, lulled by a cricket's song.

"You stupid bitch!" The bandit hissed between clenched teeth. He cradled his bloody hand to his chest.

He straddled her prone body. "After I'm done and the others have a turn, we're gonna cut that pretty face of yours."

But Tori didn't hear him. She was gazing at a full moon in a splendid garden, singing to a nightingale. It will happen now, she hummed to herself. She would die and then her night time garden would be hers forever.

Tori barely felt what he was doing to her...barely felt the dagger that dug into her side, washing the green grass with her blood. The pain begged to be noticed, tearing the fabric of her illusion. But she had so much practice...and the illusion held.

And then it was shattered. Blood splashed over her face and chest as the bandit on top of her was eviscerated. His intestines spilled out of the ugly gash at his gut and she watched in detached interest as he tried to cram them back in, fingers slipping over the slimy coils. A blade sang through the air and the bandit's head was loosed from his shoulders.

She heard the others scream in terror and then in pain and then there was silence. Tori wished she could see the savior that had come too late, but her vision was dimming so fast.

Sparks flared in her vision, bright blue against the hazy gray backdrop of her dying eyes. The last thing she felt as she slipped away, was the press of a warm, small hand in hers.

A/N: Yay! This chapter is certainly more exciting than the last. As I mentioned before...I am not too fond of the first chapter disease. Second chapters are always easier to write. Thanks and enjoy!


	3. Chapter 3

**Heart's Filthy Lesson**

Chapter Three

**Sick Child**

"_Convalescing bruised I set my mind awake  
Dare to take another look  
If you say you will  
If you could say you will" Siouxsie and the Banshees, Sick Child_

_Disclaimer: Nope. Not mine. Inuyasha doesn't belong to me_

_a/n: aaaa's are line breaks maybe next time I'll use sssss's!_

"Run Child. Run and don't look back." She heard Tori whisper, but she couldn't move. Bandits...bandits had killed her parents and now they would kill her as well.

She felt Tori's palm on her chest and then she pushed. Rin stumbled backwards. A sudden, horrifying thought. Tori doesn't want me either...I make her weak too. Rin turned and ran, tears blurring her vision.

Rin stopped, breath hitching. She'd reached the trees and stood in the their shadows, watching with wide eyes as Tori attacked the man that was surely coming for her. I have to help her, Rin thought desperately. But what can I do? I am so useless.

Rin watched as the bandit leader slung Tori to the ground and began to drag her by her hair. She couldn't look anymore. Sobbing into her hands, Rin turned to go deeper into the woods. But she stopped.

There was a familiar shift in the air, an electric heaviness. The crickets had stopped chirping and the wind was still. With puffy eyes she looked up.

Sesshomaru looked down on her and she searched his face but it was lost in shadows. His golden eyes were all she could see and they glittered like ice. Rin rushed to him, throwing her arms around his waist, his armor was cold on her hot cheeks. He made no move to embrace her.

"Please, Sesshomaru-sama..." She wanted to beg for Tori's life, but lost her voice in her sobs.

He pushed her aside gently and headed to the field.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

He owed the human woman her life. Though certainly foolish and suicidal, her actions had saved Rin. Had she done nothing, Rin would've been dead before he had gotten there.

It would only be a minor annoyance to dispatch the bandits and then he would leave the woman and take Rin back with him. Surely the child had learned her lesson.

He drew Tokijin from its scabbard and stepped into the field. As the smell of blood, lots of blood, reached him, he was fairly certain he was too late, but he would avenge the woman and his pride. The bandits would learn how foolish it was to threaten his ward.

The leader was a large man and stunk of sweat, vomit and liquor. The woman was naked under him. She made no move to fight him and her eyes were empty, staring far away. Something akin to a smiled twitched at the corners of her lips, but Sesshomaru doubted she was enjoying herself. Her grudgingly admired her bravery.

The bandit had not seen or heard him until it was too late. Tokijin sliced through his gut and spilled his intestines. The smell was terrible and that enraged Sesshomaru further. With a flick of his wrist his blade sliced through the air and then through the man's neck. The bandit leader's body toppled, his blood spraying over the woman whose eyes regained their focus. For a moment, a flicker of disappointment creased her brow, but then it faded as her eyes once again went dull. Blood was pumping freely from her side and though not a mortal wound, Sesshomaru was certain that in her weakened state it would kill her.

There was confusion at first and then the other three bandits saw him. He relished their screams of terror, he relished the acrid smell of fear as they ran. But most of all, he relished the smell of their blood as they shed it, each one falling under his blade.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Rin bit back a scream of her own when she heard the bandits yell in terror. She peeked between her fingers and saw that they had either fled or had fallen. She wasn't afraid of them anymore and she rushed to Tori's side.

The woman was ashen and her eyes had lost their shine. Rin knelt beside her and took her hand. It was cold. Her eyes filled with fresh tears when she saw the blood. But more than that, Rin saw countless scars, bruises, bites, cuts...all over Tori's body. Not one inch of flesh was free of some sort of injury. Some were very old and had faded and some were new, still livid and ugly on the pale skin.

Tori looked up at her and smiled weakly and then her face blanched and she shuddered. Her eyes rolled back and then closed. And she was still.

Rin flung herself over Tori, sobbing.

"Rin. Come." Sesshomaru was standing over her. Rin didn't move.

"It was all my fault, Sesshomaru-sama! I am so weak and useless! I couldn't save her and now Tori is dead because of me!" She wailed.

"She lives still."

Rin sniffed and wiped her eyes. Her little hand went to Tori's throat and felt. The pulse was there, but it was erratic, like some wild thing trying to break free from its cage.

It was a small victory and short lived. Tori would still die and now she couldn't walk to the village. "What do I do now, Sesshomaru-sama? Please tell Rin what to do."

Then defeat. A small frown was on his lips. Rin hung her head. But then he reached down and picked up the woman and slung her over his shoulder.

"I will take the human to the miko. We will leave her there...understood?" His voice was cold and his tone was strained.

Rin nodded. "Oh, thank you, Sesshomaru-sama! Thank you!"

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

He had two reasons for taking the woman to the miko. One, he owed her a small debt. Two, he was curious. Why was it that she had no smell? And her body...it was covered with marks and it was clear to him that most of them were not made by human hands. It was apparent that the girl had been tortured under the hands of many cruel youkai. He could smell them on her skin, but they were so numerous that he could not recognize just one scent.

Perhaps if the pathetic creature lived, he would demand answers from it...that is if he didn't lose interest first.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

The village slumbered, but Sesshomaru knew that the miko would come to him. His brother would surely catch his scent and come bumbling out to greet in him battle and the miko was his mate, was she not? The wench followed his brother everywhere.

So he waited patiently in the village square as the woman bled all over him. Rin stood by his side and he could tell she was trying not to fidget. He didn't have to wait long.

His brother emerged into the square, his hand resting on his sword's hilt. Tesseiga...the sword that should've been his. His anger flared, his rage was building.

But he wasn't here for that. He narrowed his eyes. Where was that blasted miko?

And then he heard her. "Inuyasha! Wait!"

He watched her set her bow at her feet and she approached him with caution.

He slung the woman off of his shoulder and dumped her unceremoniously to the ground.

"Miko." He began. "Fix it."

He turned to leave, his hand going to Rin's shoulder. He stopped when the girl didn't move to follow him. A line of irritation appeared between his fine brows.

"Rin wants to stay until Tori is well. Can Rin stay?"

Sesshomaru didn't answer because he was irritated, but he inclined his head and Rin went to the woman's side. He left without looking back.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Sesshomaru was gone again, but Rin wasn't worried this time. She knew he'd come back for her. She took Tori's hand again and it was even colder, the fingers stiff.

She looked up at the miko...Kagome..that was her name.

"Kagome...please. Will you help Rin's friend?" She tried to steady her voice, but it quivered anyway.

Kagome knelt by the woman, worry in her indigo eyes. She smoothed the hair out of her face.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

The darkness gave way and birthed a vision. The palace grounds were alive with color and the summer sun sparkled in the reflecting pools as the koi swirled under the surface, writhing, living gold.

She trailed her hand in the sun warmed waters, a small, sad smile on her lips. Would he come today? He hadn't been to see her for many weeks. And if he came, would he talk to her? He had yet to and she so wanted to hear his voice.

A long shadow fell over her and she shivered in its wake. A beautiful face with a sour expression looked down on her and she hid her face behind a curtain of sun gold hair.

She waited, trembling until the shadow was gone. A hot tear snaked its way down her pale cheek and she ran.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

"Shall I sing for you again?" She asked, trying not to sound too hopeful.

He didn't answer. His back was to her and he made no move, as if he hadn't even heard her.

"Well, I'm going to. You'll have to say something if you don't want me to." Her tone was teasing and she was smiling like a fool.

It was a simple song, a lullaby. She liked to imagine that her own mother had sung it to her, but she couldn't remember her mother. When she finished, he was looking at her and a small smile twitched at the corners of his lips. Her heart gave a painful thump and she sucked in a breath. Whether she was feeling particularly brave or foolish, she didn't know, but she placed a trembling hand over his. Much to her delight, he didn't pull away even if his smile had faded.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Tori felt as though she were engulfed in a river of flame. Her body burned but she shivered, her teeth clacking together so hard she feared they would break. Every so often she would feel cool, gentle hands on her forehead and she would try to open her eyes, but she was only greeted with a nauseating blur of color. She only wanted the visions to come back. Many times she had dreamed of the palace and her happy life there, but the fever dreams were much brighter as they always were when she was close to death.

Once she almost woke. There was a sharp pain in her scalp and muffled curses. Either someone was trying to rip the top of her head off, or they were trying to comb her hair. After that torture had passed, another was introduced. A rough cloth soaked with what she assumed was water and a rather medicinal smelling soap was raked over her fever sensitive skin. Her body was racked by such shivers that her caretaker remarked that she thought Tori was having a seizure. A cup was held to her lips and she drank. It was hot and tasted like tea but soon after drinking it, Tori slipped into a dreamless sleep.

Time meant nothing. A day could've passed, or a week and when she finally opened her bleary eyes. Unadorned walls, a small fire in the hearth...it was a hut with a dirt floor covered by thin grass mats. Her body felt light and her head fuzzy. She was dressed in a cotton kimono that felt abrasive to her tender skin, and a thick blanket was pulled up all the way to her chin.

Tori sat up, instantly sorry she had. She put her hands to her head as the room pitched wildly. Something silky slipped between her fingers and she grabbed it, hauling it in front of her face. It was her hair. Someone had combed out all the knots and had washed it. Tori pushed up her sleeves. Her arms were just as clean as her hair. She could see every scar, from the old silver ones to the reddish pink ones. Hastily she pulled the fabric back over her marks. She hated being reminded how hideous she was. At least the dirt had hidden them, but clean she looked like what she was. A slave. A whipping boy.

There was a soft knock on the door and then it opened. A girl with black hair and odd clothing stood there. When she saw that Tori was awake, she smiled gently.

"You look much better!" The girl exclaimed. "I was sure worried there for awhile."

Tori let her hair slip in front of her face and lowered her gaze. "So...it was you who healed me then?"

"Uh, yeah. You had pneumonia and that wound on your leg was infected. I guess you'll be leaving pretty soon?"

Tori shrugged. "I suppose."

There was a long pregnant pause, but it didn't bother Tori. She didn't feel much like talking. When she would talk to other humans, they always asked her questions, questions she didn't want to answer.

"So, you'll go home then?"

Tori looked up at her through the curtain of her tresses and was about to answer that she didn't have a home to go when the door opened.

"Hey, Kagome! Are you coming or not?"

Tori let out a small shriek. In the door frame stood a demon. An inu youkai. It couldn't be! She thought, panic chilling her insides.

The girl put a hand on her shoulder. "Hey, it's okay. Inuyasha won't hurt you. He isn't like Sesshomaru at all."

Tori jerked away from the girl's gentle grasp. "Sesshomaru?" She could barely breathe. Hadn't the child said that name before? In her sickness did she not hear it? Had she truly blocked the past so much that name no longer held meaning...reverence? Or was it the sight of the Lord of the West's half brother that jogged her memory? She couldn't be certain of any of that. But she was certain she had to leave before Sesshomaru returned and saw her.

"Inuyasha's half brother...the one who brought you here."

But Tori couldn't hear her. "I have to go..." She whispered, trying to stand.

"Wait! You're not well enough yet!" The girl's hand grabbed her own, trying to pull her down.

Tori violently wrenched herself free. "I am fine!" She hissed.

Blindly she swatted at the caring hands and made her way out of the door, pushing the demon out of the way. It was mid afternoon and it was warm, but her skin prickled and she began to tremble again. The fever was coming back, but she didn't care. Didn't care if it killed her and she rather hoped it would. She had to get far away and quickly.

Each step was agony. Her leg wasn't healed all the way yet and every time she put pressure on it, spikes of hot agony laced up her wound and into the meat of her thigh. She pressed on, making it to the small village's square. Just a little farther, she told herself. Less than a mile and I'll be at the woods. If she could get there, she knew she would be nearly impossible to track.

"Tori!" It was the child, Rin.

She heard the soft pats of her little bare feet as the girl ran to catch up with her.

"Tori." The child was at her side now, huffing and puffing and all red in the face. "Where are you going?"

She pushed her hair away from her face and knelt by the girl. "I am sorry, Rin. I have to go. I have to get away."

The child latched onto her hand and tears filled her eyes. The girl's chin crumpled. "Please, Tori. Stay and be Rin's friend!"

Tori shook her head. "No child. I cannot. I would make a poor friend for you." She smoothed the little girl's hair fondly.

"But I saved your life..." Rin mumbled.

"I would stay and be your friend...but the dai youkai you travel with...I do not think he'd allow it."

The child snuffled. "Probably not."

"Goodbye, Rin." Tori said and she straightened, limping away.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Sesshomaru watched the woman with wide eyes. She looked very familiar, but it couldn't be..._she _should be long dead. But everything about her was the same. The same plain face, the same long sun gold hair. The same long fingers. He shook his head slowly. No...this woman was different. Her eyes were haunted, not the bright happy eyes _she _had.

He approached his ward and the woman. Neither had noticed him yet and he saw the woman turn and begin to limp away.

"Wench!" He called out.

The woman froze and turned at the waist, her hair hiding her face. Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes. He was pleased when he caught a very faint scent from her. It was the acrid, bitter scent of fear.

_A/N: Hope you liked this one. :) Chapter four is in draft stage, so it will take awhile to update, but I will update. Thank you to my kind reviewers. Your kind words are very encouraging. _


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